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raegan nicole fancey , 19 :)
how i feel today lol
antisociallysplendid:

someonesthunderboltsomeday:

lsdandthc:

skittlezthecat:

da-sy:

redvinesgiraffe:


You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

O_O

yesss i found it again! one of my all time favourite reads.

Philosophy went to the max right here

OI SCROLL BACK UP AND READ ALL OF IT!

I was really intrigued by this

philosophy went to the max? Philosophy came, shot me in the shoulder and said i was never shot because the gun never existed because I’m not real and the pain I’m actually feeling is the beginning of the big bang theory in another time zone

chancewit:

I think i’m going to keep a list of all the crazy awesome people i meet at front desk.

like MAGNESS!  The woman who called down to the front desk asking if her room came with a complimentary ICE PICK.

First day on the job ladies and gentlemen…it’s shaping up to be a good couple of months.

Dot dot dot: I am a Front Desk Agent

probablyyes:

I am a Front Desk Agent

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.

Of course, I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don’t have the confirmation number and…

this actually his hilarious

When one of my Front Desk Associates wants me to talk to an angry guest

thathotel:

I’m like…

http://media.tumblr.com/04dd9183def46d53e8148c9d6723be00/tumblr_inline_mhkvi2LSZY1qh82xd.gif

rupturedresponsibility:

So a guest comes out of the elevator and is walking towards the parking lot, when he says something. I can’t hear him, and I ask him what he said. He turns, faces me, grits his teeth and yells, “I’m going out to dinner, DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING ANYTHING BACK FOR YOU OR NOT?!” 

Well, that escalated quickly…

lol
4 am deyarmond edison shit

where to start, i don’t know.
i’m so tired of being held back. first, i want to say that i can’t feel guilty for smoking anymore. everytime i smoke, it’s guilt that just pings me and hurts me and i want to quit so terribly but i can’t do it. i want to try but i don’t know how. i’ve been through so much, i’ve felt so much hurt and i always say i’m so strong, i’m so strong. everyone tells me wow i don’t know how you do it. but i can’t be strong, because smoking is stronger than me. it’s a menial addiction really, compared to actual addictive drugs, and even still, it’s more powerful than me. i can’t shut my brain off and tell myself no, i don’t need one right now. i can’t do it. then after i feel terrible. i want to be stronger than smoking.

then there’s my sister, how do i do take the pain away for you? you, are another who is stronger than me. i had the opportunity once too, and i gave it up. not effortlessly, it was so hard and still is hard sometimes. but i can’t help but fear that because i gave it up on my own, that i took it away from you. you deserve to be a mom, one day with a stillborn isn’t what i wanted for you. we were all so excited, and i don’t know why it had to end in pain. i don’t know why everything has to end in pain for our family.

then there’s the real worst thing that’s bothering me. you. you disgusting peice of human-trash. i don’t know what made you ever think you had the right to take things away from other people. especially me. i was your best friend for three years, through getting arrested, embarassing me at university, nights just fueled by unspeakable bullshit. i was there for everything for you. i sat beside you during one of the worst days of your life and i understood. i understood your used and abused ways, people wanting you for the wrong reasons. i tried to brighten your life, i really did. i know i talk too much and i know i needed you as much as you needed me. you were my family, our parents gave the other one christmas presents, i called your mom and you called mine mom. why did you take that away from me. but i tried so hard, that christmas-scrapbook took so much time, jesus. i put so much into that. but you took everything away from me. a friendship i took very seriously and put a LOT into. the one time you see i’m doing something for me, i’m serious about someone and you have to sleep with him too. i know you have issues but i don’t know why you had to have what i so desperately wanted and needed. you’ve ruined my relationship. you could’ve told me when i asked. you could’ve told me before i moved across the country putting all my faith into a relationship based on a huge, disgusting lie. i can’t handle the thought of you, it’s too painful. you make me sick and i never thought i’d have this much hate for you.


i want to come home, but the only reason i can’t is because i can’t bear to see you. you ruined the best thing i’ve had and every day in my relationship is now a struggle, because of you.